Skip to main content

Life's a Bitch by Stitch

Me!

One of my favourite poses - note the lead. I'm rarely off it when I'm out (unless it's in a 'beagle proof' fenced field).

Note to other beagles: keep checking the boundary fence - there's usually a small gap somewhere under which you can escape to freedom.

Bit of background on me: Born: April 13th 2019 and went to live in a place called Cheriton on the south east coast with a family that included a teenager (who named me), a toddler (who taught me how to misbehave) and a cat called Lola (who really annoyed me).

Don't I look cute? Can you see what's on the collar? An anti bark device. I managed the destroy that one but I've got a new one now. They save it for when I'm really noisy.

Note to other beagles: barking really winds them up. I now save it for motorbikes and cycles (anything with one eye), tractors and alsations (I've hated them ever since one savaged me - it's dead now but I'm on a mission to scare any big dog that comes into range).


I learnt early on how to get what I wanted. Jumping up, barking and destroying whatever the grown ups had that they wouldn't give me: cushions, socks, scarves, spectacles, gloves, hearing aids (got three of them), books, envelopes, TV remote controls, binoculars, tools (some still hidden).

Note to other beagles: I've heard some beagles can open kitchen cupboards and fridges and get really tasty items that the owners don't want to share with you. I'm keeping that trick in mind ready for when I can work out how to get into the biscuit tin.

When I was six months old I went to live in the country with the toddler's grandparents. I wonder why they sent me there?

Note to other beagles: if you fancy a change of scenery, try destroying something really expensive. It could be disastrous but you never know your luck.




They made me join their club - hence the neckerchief (which didn't last long probably because they didn't win). They also took me long walks - always on a lead - and I started dog training classes! Ha! That didn't last long. I occasionally walk to heel to humour them.

Note to other beagles: misbehave from the outset and you'll probably get banned. The only good thing about the classes were the treats they used to make you do tricks like walking next to your owner. How they expect you to do that when you're on the scent of something else defeats them?



Living in the country with the grandparents coincided with Covid 19. That meant more walks from home as everyone went into lockdown. I took them all over the place during those early sunny months.

I was having a wonderful time but I was always on that damned lead. And they'd discovered that having it over my nose stopped me pulling! I had to break free!

I did it one day in April. Actually, I did it four days in the same week! Bad move! They contacted the Beagle Rehoming Centre to see if they would take me in.

Note to other beagles: if you do escape, do it for a short time and don't go into any field with sheep in. They think you're trying to scare them when, really, you only want to play. It's the rabbits and pheasants you want to scare.

The Beagle Rehoming Centre didn't want me.

They said I wasn't a true beagle - but I am! I'm a lemon beagle! It says so on my passport.



Since then I've been careful not to escape too often (helped by the fact that they spend hundreds of pounds on new fencing, new leads and remembering to attach me to a lead whenever I go in the boot of the car (after I did one spectacular escape when we were on holiday in Pembrokeshire - that really wound them up). They even took me to play with other beagles but I did play hard to get when it was home time (unless it was raining - I don't like rain).

Note to other beagles: make the most of trips in the car but don't make it easy for them to catch you out. Sometimes the trip can be to the vet or, worse still, the kennels. Check whether they're acting suspicious - being extra nice to you. Kennels can be fun but you miss out on those little treats. They don't spoil you in kennels but you do get to play with other dogs.

So life is pretty good two years on with the same owners. They actually think I helped them get through lockdowns despite stealing their food, digging holes in their land, barking and jumping up at their friends, stopping them going out to the theatre etc etc. I've really got them trained. After two years of being taken to kennels when they want to go on holiday, they've now bought a canal barge and I've a spare bed on board.



Note to other beagles: use those tactics that appeal to owners and others - the sad eyes, the cheeky smile and the playfulness but remember that, in this world, you come first. More about my canal adventures to come.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dog Watching

I’m sat here in the back of the boat dog watching.  The little yappy ones I don’t bother with.  Those my size like the spaniels and collies are more interesting.  Occasionally I see another beagle, good looking like me, but, if I see something large like a German Shepherd or a Labrador I’ll really bark.  That’s when I get shouted at. They brought the boat round from Tattenhall Marina on Friday, stopping at the top of Beeston Iron Lock on the first night.  On Saturday we entered the Llangollen canal so I got lots of interesting walks along the towpath.  It rained on Sunday but we had lunch in a pub in Wrenbury and I got the scraps. By Monday night we’d reached the top of the staircase locks in Grindley Brook (thanks to the helpful volunteers) but had to go home on Tuesday for appointments.   As they’re having a new shower fitted, we came back here to Whitchurch that same day and spent yesterday at Cholmondley Castle Gardens where there were loads o...

A new adventure on dry land

  We're off on a new adventure, she tells me.   We're dropped off in the middle of Chester and head towards the River Dee to walk to Flint.  Only 13 miles!   This is the start of the Wales Coast Path that she intends to follow though, as it's 870 miles long, I'm not sure either of us will be able to make it.  He's in charge of transport: dropping us off at the start then meeting us on his bike to make sure we're safe. It's a long tarmac path but there are interesting smells on either side and we pass a few other dogs, some walkers and cyclists.  The start of the Wales Coast Path is obvious - even to a dog! We must have walked for over five miles before we leave the path to cross the big blue bridge at Queensferry and, for a short distance, we follow grass paths to the Hawarden bridge. We still couldn't see the sea but the estuary was wider. Then we're back on tarmac all the way to Connah's Quay where he meets us for lunch and I get two sausages a...
  Creativity and Nature Join  me at Ty’r Felin on 28 th June for a day exploring creativity and nature. Your facilitator Helen Papworth I am a retired educator and writer/illustrator who is currently studying for a Permaculture Diploma. After a career spent teaching and managing, I moved to Ethiopia as a VSO volunteer in 2004 then retrained as an illustrator for children’s publishing. I gained my PhD on the subject of Ethiopian Children’s Illustrated Literature and continue to illustrate books for Ethiopian publishers. I also now train artists in Ethiopia to illustrate children’s books . I live at Ty’r Felin where I practice permaculture ethics, principles and techniques in my home and on the land where I have developed a Forest Garden. Your venue Ty’r Felin, Cwm Road, Trelawnyd, Flintshire, LL18 6EF  GR SJ 08815  79158 Ty’r Felin is a mill cottage with a converted mill which is now a studio, and stables, one of which serves as a print r...